your dad

i don't know what the future holds for you my loves, but if you marry, i pray you marry someone like your dad.  no, really.  no one is perfect.  he is not.  but gosh, he's pretty amazing.  

he listens.  really listens.  this is one true important part of a person.  and gee whiz he knows the best gifts to give me because he knows me.

he solves problems.  he figures out solutions, practical, helpful solutions.  things that i don't even see as a way to solve it.  and he takes his time to find the right way of doing this.  and he's wise and level-headed. 

he dances.  one of the billions of reasons why i fell for him.  he can be a nut on the dance floor (hey ya!).  but i love it when he offers out his hand, the both of us in our pajamas, lovely music playing, and we dance in the middle of the living room.  and when he took you, sophia, at two days old, and danced-rocked you, i swooned.  and let's just shout it out:  family dance parties!

he knows good music.  oh that's important girls (you might not think so, but it is).  play music and let it soothe your heal your heart and bind your lives richer, together.  and when he sends you a love song and then arrives at your dorm door to dance with you while it plays--dance.  play that song over and over.  and maybe that will be the song you dance to on your wedding day.  

he holds me.  tears.  anger.  lost.  he holds you girls.  and even at four and two years old, you still look like wee babes in his big arms.  let him hold you for a long time.  feel the warm beating of his heart.  you fill his arms and his heart.  we are all there.

he is so humble.  he is modest.  and i want to point out all of his successes to everyone and interject when he doesn't and tell everyone how brilliant he is because he doesn't do it for himself (very often).  he also chooses his battles well.

and he's gentle.  so gentle.   in tone and action and patience.  and it sounds cliche, but he is also very strong.  he almost single-handily unloaded all of our stuff into our new house in pittsburgh.  but there is strength in his character too.  he is the person people rely on.  he can be counted on.  people respect him because of this.  (and he can break too.  please be kind in your words.) 

he is such a good friend.  he cares for others.   genuinely. and he takes the time to be with others and he's authentic when he's with them.   

he takes his time.  he listens to his body and knows when to rest, and he's helping me to find that balance in life as well (all too often i don't take the time or i push myself to keep going).  even though you two are at ages of dependence and constant motion, we envision family routines that include nap time on the weekends and quiet reading time.  there is a pace he takes in life that is quite wonderful.

he reads.  and reads.  he learns and never wants to stop.  that is intelligence.  the desire to continue learning throughout life is valuable.  take his lead.  find what interests you and pursue it.  he didn't stop.  and i'm so proud of what he has accomplished.  and there is so much more he will do and he will continue to amaze us all.  love to learn.  

oh my.  he's funny!!!  besides those dreamy blue eyes of his, he captured my heart with his humor.  it's sometimes the glue that keeps us going as a couple on those very difficult stretches of life.  please find someone who makes you laugh.  be silly.  life will have some very serious stuff in it, so partner with someone who can get you to laugh.  and do the same back.  

he is trustworthy.  he has proven it.  and he doesn't have to prove it.  he just is.  and from my battered past, trusting someone is so very hard for me.  but he is to be trusted.  please don't shut him out when you struggle.  please rely on him.  and learn to be a trusted person too.

his faith in God is strong.  he is not afraid of what tomorrow brings because he knows in whom to trust.

he is adventurous.  daring.  please take a leap once and awhile, holding hands with the ones you love. 


i sometimes think lists are boring and inconsequential, but i need to remind myself of to whom i'm partnered with in life here.  i'm so grateful to be with this man.  i am so lucky to parent with him and see his beautiful features in each of  you lovely girls.

these are my thankfulness for ben reminders.