Movement

there is movement within.

not only did i feel this tiny baby move within my body a few days ago, but there is movement within my heart--the growth of a new love for this one. this baby.

and i didn't really know how or when that would happen. i've been told that loving another child is easy since you grow this second heart made specifically to love your new baby. two hearts in one mother for her two children--each getting such sincere love. of course when i knew that babyNew was in existence i felt love, a longing for THIS child. i didn't doubt that would happen. but i wasn't sure how i would react to what i've already experienced before. would it be novel, special? would it be ordinary? knowing that i remembered how i felt when sophie moved within me and that it was my first feeling of quickening, i wasn't sure how i would respond to feeling babyNew move. would i be just as excited?!

oh but it was so lovely! and i cried. just like i did the first time. and it was a joyful cry--a cry that allowed my heart to grow even more for this little one. the feeling of a tiny being, my baby, move it's little arms and legs is a remarkable feeling. a gift. and it is shared between mother and child. so unique and so secret. i laid there, still, my hand upon my belly. and i enjoyed the first tiny movements of this baby. this baby who will be so different from sophia in such wonderful ways, but who will also awaken me to the love of the same milestones that our firstborn introduced us to. and i look forward to more of these tiny jabs, flutters, and eventually full-blown kicks.

thank you, my baby, for reminding me you are there. i love you.